A simpler way to put this is; if there is an estate, all bills will be paid from that before any inheritance is given. The funeral costs will also come out of the estate. If the person has no money when they die their bills like credit cards, etc. are discharged and no one has to pay them. If there are Mortgages and the like the item will be reposessed or auctioned, and the funeral expenses will be the responsibility of the next of kin. If there is an estate after all bills are paid, each person, by law who could prove they were a legal heir would get an equal amount

If the bills are not in your name, then you are not responsible. But if you are living in the house then it is evident that you would want to continue to pay those bills, like lights and gas, etc. Just keep a record.
Do not pay any medical bills or other debts. They are no one’s responsibility if they are not in your name. Once an attorney has been contacted they will notify any creditors and they will have a certain amount of time to make a claim. If you all decide to keep the estate and not abandon it, then you will have to pay those creditors if they do indeed make a claim. But then and only then, do you have to pay any other debts of the deceased.

It is illegal to post your own notice showing details and dates of a funeral. A funeral notice can only be done by a licensed funeral director when they have cited the death certificate and can verify that the certificate matches the body. You cannot do it yourself because there would be a lot of people posting fake funeral notices of people who they hold a grudge against.

Writing an obituary is the responsibility of the family or next of kin of the deceased. There are many ways to write one, you could begin just with the name of the deceased. Date of death, then accomplishments, then family. It is recommended to look at a paper and see how others have done it and what seems appropriate to you.

In order to write an obituary, here are some rules:

You mention the person’s home town and relatives
you never say anything negative
you try to say something positive, no matter how it sounds to people who actually know the person.

The tradition of bagpipes played at fire department and police department funerals in the United States goes back over one hundred fifty years. When the Irish and Scottish immigrated to this country, they brought many of their traditions with them. One of these was the bagpipe, often played at Celtic weddings, funerals and ceilis (dances).

It wasn’t until the great potato famine and massive Irish immigration to the East Coast of the United States that the tradition of the pipes really took hold in the fire department. In the 1800′s, Irish immigrants faced massive discrimination. Factories and shops had signs reading “NINA” – No Irish Need Apply. The only jobs they could get were the ones no one else wanted – jobs that were dirty, dangerous, or both – firefighters and police officers. It was not an uncommon event to have several firefighters killed at a working fire. The Irish firefighters’ funerals were typical of all Irish funerals – the pipes were played. It was somehow okay for a hardened firefighter to cry at the sound of pipes when his dignity would not let him weep for a fallen comrade.

Those who have been to funerals when bagpipes are played know how haunting and mournful the sound of the pipes can be. Before too long, families and friends of non-Irish firefighters began asking for the piper to play for these fallen heroes. The pipes add a special air and dignity to the solemn occasion.

Associated with cities such as Boston, New York, Philadelphia, and Chicago, pipe bands representing both fire and police often have more than 60 uniformed playing members. They are also traditionally known as Emerald Societies after Ireland – the Emerald Isle. Many bands wear traditional Scottish dress while others wear the simpler Irish uniform. All members wear the kilt and tunic, whether it is a Scottish clan tartan or Irish single color kilt. Today, the tradition is universal and not just for the Irish or Scottish. The pipes have come to be a distinguishing feature of a fallen hero’s funeral.

What is the correct funeral etiquette?

You can go see the clergyman who will take care of the service, and arrange all this with them. He/she is there to give you guidance when you need it most. If you want the gathering to be structured, you might want to have an order of service. If you just want a “gathering”, then you shouldn’t need it. Since you’re planning on having it at a church, I would do an order of service. You may want to get a large picture of your loved one and have it placed where people can see it as they enter the sanctuary of the church. You may want to have one or two scripture readings, maybe a song and have people on program to do remarks. Remarks are nice because it gives most people an opportunity to share wonderful, sometimes humorous memories of their loved one. Also, be sure to let each speaker know that they are limited to 2 minutes each so that you’re not there all night listening to a long winded speaker.

The costs vary based upon your location. You really need to research this in your own area based upon what your family wants included. The cost of a funeral in a typical U.S. city might look like this:

Body pickup, body preparation, funeral home facilities — $1,000

Mid-quality casket — $2,000

Wake, 2 viewings over course of 1 day — $500

Vehicles, pall bearers, church service, graveside service — $1,000

Single grave — $2,500

Concrete grave liner — $500

Opening/closing grave — $500

Concrete base for tombstone — $500

Inscribed standing tombstone — $2,000

TOTAL = $9,500

There are many checklists online, but your best resource will be a funeral director. It’s what they are trained to do. I hope planning helps everyone involved find some peace with what’s to come. All funeral homes give out those workbooks for free. It’s called an advanced planning guidebook.

If you choose to buy an insurance policy in the amount of what you are planning, it will lock-in all your costs forever and give you additional discounts. It’s the best thing to do for your family. Have your wishes written out, specifying what you want. Have two witnesses sign the document one should be your spouse. Have it notarized. If you have a safety deposit box at your bank, put it in there. Tell your friends and family what you want, so they will be aware and prepared. That way, no one can sabotage your plans.

There are three common funeral pre-payment options.

1. Funeral Trust Account – A Funeral Trust Account can be purchased either through your bank or through a funeral home.
2. Life Insurance – A life insurance policy should be purchased by a licensed insurance provider with the funeral service provider named as the beneficiary.
3. Funds Set Aside – A simple solution is to set aside money that is accessible to trusted friends or family.

You do not have to pre-pay for a funeral but you should pre-plan. Pre-Planning, also commonly referred to as Preneed, is beneficial to both the dying and their friends and family. A preneed funeral plan ensures the wishes of the deceased are followed. A preneed funeral plan also alleviates the burden on loved ones in their time of grief.

The most important aspect of a preneed funeral plan is to make sure a trusted friend or family member knows of the plan. There is no guarantee the funeral home will know when you have passed on.

What are the advantages of planning ahead of time? Well, you get the kind of funeral you want and your grieving relatives will not be burdened with having to make these decisions at a very traumatic time. Who or what determines whether the funeral service is held in a church, at the funeral parlor, or at graveside? The religious beliefs of the deceased and the relatives will determine whether to have a church funeral service. When each of my parents died we had a full church funeral service in the parish church of which they were regular members of the congregation, followed by a short service at the crematorium. Atheists and people who are not religious would not want this and would probably arrange some kind of non-religious ceremony. Who handles the grave digging and burial procedure at the gravesite? The funeral directors handle the arrangements with the cemetery that provide the grave-diggers. Is a gravestone necessary? What does one cost? Consider that a gravestone is very necessary to mark the final resting place and record full details of the deceased. Many people like to visit the graves of their loved ones regularly and place flowers and mementoes. Take a walk in your local cemetery on a Sunday and see how people tend their family graves and plant flowers etc.

Cost of the gravestone depends on the material used. Granite is the most durable, comes in various colors and can be polished, and it is also the most expensive. Marble can be carved into statues and intricate designs but is not as hard wearing.

Next, go to a funeral home and get a prepaid plan. That would include prepaying for your funeral (there are all different prices) and your cremation. Select the urn you want. If you want your ashes scattered somewhere, you’ll probably just want a plain box that’s used for that purpose. If you do want them scattered over land, you have to get permission from local authorities to do that. Human remains may be considered “contaminating”. You can ask the funeral director what the procedures are for that in your area.

If you and your family are at odds over your religion, be sure they’re aware of your choices. If you are a member of a church, talk to your priest and tell him what you want done. Make copies of your will and your living will. Designate someone (preferably not a family member) to act in your stead when these plans have to be carried out. Give that person a copy of the paperwork, put the original in a safety deposit box in your bank (make that designated person available so he/she can get into the safety deposit box and they will have a key when needed) and you might want to give a copy to a trusted member of your family. Talk to the attorney you select and ask if there’s anything else you need to do.